10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, bye, bye, bye...

Perhaps "On the Line" will be the in-flight movie. If this works out, can we step up the timeline on my top-secret project, code name: In Space No One Can Hear Lou Pearlman Pull Your Strings.

Server Logs Say The Darndest Things: Weird-Ass Searches That Led to My Blog, Part Deux!

strip clubs in milpitas (Dude, there is nothing worthwhile in Milpitas, don't even try.)
missing piece shel silverstein psychology
groupies fucking jpg
morocco mole and jpg (What, no Secret Squirrel jpg?)
bush pretzel attack funny flash
Groupies Deadbolt (I just got Deadbolt's album "Tiki Man" - consider me a groupie!)
short cover annakournikova free photos
brobdingnagian punchbowl
tommy tutone lawsuit
actress, joyce bulifant, porn film
Brazilian Bikini Waxing Salon San Diego Best

And now, introducing the wackiest searches from all over the world!

TOYOTA HIGHLANDER THEME SONG (from Japan - if I'm not mistaken, the Toyota Highlander's theme is "Who Wants to Live Forever?" by Queen... oh, never mind.)
fresh meat xy porn movie (some German pervert with a rump roast fetish)
x uidl alcatraz outlook (Italy)
"Chinese silk" Bush October 21 visit (from Middle Earth, aka New Zealand)
lyrics, just a gigolo, louis prima, karaoke (Spain)

Presenting: Weird-Ass Searches That Led to My Blog

Culled from my log files, some people who've come to this dorky blog did so after some random searches on Google and other portals, including:

zappa quote asshole proven
joyce bulifant
toyota and highlander and class action
launch a vbs script and wait for it to finish
classic car show in colma ca
What actor played the motorist who's found dying at the beginning of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

and my absolute favorite search:

short hot tighty silk dresses

Dude must have be awesomely disappointed with those results when he got to this page.

And so today I'm 30. Oy. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

Big upz to my twin from another mother, Tankgirl in Indiana. She found my blog last year, and we found out we both shared the exact same birthday (2/4/72). Hope your 30th is going great, J. Look forward to seeing your new blog.

Herein, for all you food porn enthusiasts, a blow-by-blow account of my dinner last night at The French Laundry in the Napa Valley:

Two small complimentary dishes came first: a cheese puff pastry (I believe it's called a grugère) and salmon tartare with red onion and crème fraîche (presented in a cylindrical wafer, it looked like a miniature ice cream cone). Then came the prix fixe nine-course chef's tasting menu:

"Oysters and Pearls": Oysters in chive butter and a "sabayon" of pearl tapioca with osetra caviar.

"Degustation de Pommes de Terre": a puree of Yukon Gold potatoes with purple potatoes in truffle oil. Also available for this course: foie gras du canard with poached Granny Smith apples and spiced bread.

Seared Alaskan cod with caramelized brussels sprouts and whole mustard seed sauce.

"Macaroni and Cheese": Maine lobster poached in butter, served on a bed of orzo pasta and mascarpone cheese.

Braised shoulder of rabbit stuffed with sweetbreads with a side of candy cap mushrooms.

Filet mignon of veal in a Walla Walla challot sauce, served on a caramelized parsnip with pearl onions.

"Vachine du Mont d'Or": Double-cream cow's milk cheese from France, served with a prune tart.

Wild huckleberry sorbet served on a Cream of Wheat pudding cake.

"Opera Chocolate Cake": a multi-layered dessert of Valrhona chocolate, sponge cake, and coffee creme anglaise. (Also included for me: a marzipan cookie with chocolate "Happy Birthday" messaging.)

As if that wasn't quite enough, more desserts followed. For half the table, small ramekins of crème brulée; for the other half, tiny caramel pots de crème. Both exquisite. Then with the check came a plate of tarts and cookies. Then after the bill was paid, housemade hand-rolled chocolate truffles.

I will not waste superlatives on the dinner; I think it speaks for itself. If you ever get the chance to dine at The French Laundry, you have no choice but to go. The most expensive and worthwhile meal you may have.