I just got junk mail with one of the catchier presentations I've seen in a while. It's for SBC's new long distance service, touting that one Reconstituted Frankenbell - er, phone company - handling all your phone services, local and long distance, is the best choice. I open the window envelope, which states, "Two isn't always better than one." Inside is a second, smaller window envelope, which was perfectly placed and reads, "Sometimes one makes more sense than two." Whoever came up with this idea should get a bonus. But I still think SBC as a whole is, to paraphrase the late prophet Bill Hicks, a sucker of Satan's cock.

The second week of Tomfoolery went fairly well, I'd say. Friday was our first performance in six days, our first long break between shows, so we were a wee bit rusty. My homie Mark B. came up from L.A. to catch it, a day before he embarked on a road trip to debauch in Reno; also in attendance were my buddy and former coworker Kayt and a friend of hers - unfortunately, I didn't get to say hi to them after the show, but hopefully we'll catch up and play pub trivia in San Mateo sometime soon.

Sunday was a matinee performance, and usually those are low-energy shows that are sparsely attended, mainly as a service to some the older patrons who wouldn't be able to catch an evening show. But damn, we were on. For me, it was an "in the zone" performance, full energy and full voice, and I was able to fire off a couple of ad libs in response to events that happened in the audience - a cell phone which blared in the first 10 minutes of the show and a shrieking-at-top-of-puny-lungs child who was hurried out of the theater. Damn fun.

And I had a lot of peeps in the audience for the matinee, too. My oldest friend Dan and his girlfriend Laura, saucy fat activist/gadfly/chum Marilyn, former and current coworkers, a comrade from voiceover classes, and Gina (again - what a trooper!), who brought a couple of friends and 3 family members, including her mom, whom I yet hadn't met. D'oh! I met her briefly after the show, and G. said everyone had a grand old time. Whew.

This week, preparation for the TBA generals - I see my acting teacher tomorrow to polish my monologue, and I've already made the requisite 100 copies of my headshot and résumé. Also, 2 rehearsals for the production of Lysistrata I'll be in next Monday night (see the sidebar for all the info). Busy, busy, busy. But damn content.

French chefs take their jobs a little too seriously.

The most shocking thing about this Rhode Island club inferno isn't the amount of lives lost, but rather that there are at least 85 Great White fans in the world, much less in Rhode Island. Personally, my conspiracy theory is that Great White was angling for a way to finally get on Behind the Music.

Will Blogger now be called Bloogle? Perhaps they'll finally be able to solve that goddamn disappearing archives problem, eh?

Opening night has come and gone. Man, that was fun, especially to do it for a paying audience for the first time. I wish I had nailed my solo numbers better, but I'm pleased with what I did, and other folks seemed to be, too. Gina was in attendance, and post-show she gave me a lei she made to give me much aloha. I can't even begin to describe how lucky I am - she's the best. Today I'm tired and feeling slightly hung over (a theater hangover - I only had a small glass of champagne), but I feel great that I'm able to do what I like to do, and that I sang and danced for the first time in 17 years and got a good reception.

Well, now the world knows that I was only a little bit of help to my pal Fernando. Granted, I did get the right answer, but I really wish I had been more authoritative in giving it.

To give you background: when I got the call, I was in front of my computer at work, Google at the ready. I had been watching Millionaire for weeks, using Google to search on questions I didn't know, refining my quick searching skills, seeing which keywords I needed to input to get the correct answers. I thought I had it down cold. Then Fernando called me with the question:

In which of the card games do players keep score using pegs on a board?
A) Cribbage  B) Rummy  C) Pinochle  D) Bridge

I immediately thought it was cribbage, because cribbage was the only game of those four that I knew used a peg (cribbage) board. What supremely messed me up was the fact that I had never played cribbage myself and I didn't know that there was a card-playing component to it. So within a few seconds, I psyched myself out with "Is this a trick question?" self-doubts - which was dumb, considering it was only a $4000 question and the questions at that level are pretty straightforward, but then again, the questions have gotten much tougher on the syndicated version of the show, etc. etc.

So I punched something like "card game peg board" into Google and got really ambiguous results, listing a whole lot of card games without definitively listing cribbage. Next thing I knew, Fernando repeated the question and said, "Nine seconds." I had to get something out, so I said, "I think it's cribbage, I'm not too sure, but I think it's -" buzz buzz! Then a show staffer briefly got on the line, thanked me for being there, and click, it was over. I had to wait and sweat a little while Fernando was still in the hot seat. Eventually, he called me after he was done and apprised me of his performance.

I'm glad I got the question right, but I'm sorry he had to burn his last lifeline because I wasn't entirely sure. He busted his ass to study, balancing his firefighting job, coaching his daughter's soccer team, and getting little peace at home while it was being renovated. He even got a hotel room in Long Beach before he flew out to New York, just to get some solitude to cram for the show. Still, $16,000 and a free weekend in New York is pretty freaking good, I'd say. I had to stay in L.A. on my own dime for Win Ben Stein's Money and I had to compete against two really smart people and one brilliant dude named Ben to come away with $2100.

I'll be giving Fernando a call today before I head out to Tomfoolery - opening freaking night! He had a great presence on Millionaire, especially with his anecdote about the running of the bulls in Pamplona. He worked extremely hard to get on the show, to say the least. We met at the tryouts in Sunnyvale, where I passed the initial quiz and he didn't. He then drove with his family (they had road tripped up to specifically try out) up to the next tryout location... in Seattle, for God's sake. It was up there that he made the cut, and then he got the call to be a contestant a couple of weeks later. I'm still waiting for my call. He was quite kind to shill for me on the show - heh heh. I figure if I don't hear from them soon, I think I'll go to L.A. and try out for Jeopardy! You know, once I get some sleep and free time. Which at this rate may happen in 2006.

Just a quick reminder: my phone-a-friend experience will air this Friday. See the link in the sidebar if you don't know where Millionaire airs in your city.

To post briefly: hell week is upon us. Rehearsals have now become marathons, but I'm finding that it's getting even more fun the more delirious and tired we get. I'm gaining strength and momentum in the stuff I'm doing on stage, which gives me great hope. I'm beginning to take control of my role. Also, we now have a three-piece band - piano, trombone, drums - which provides a new level of depth and humor to the music that makes me crack up every time I hear them play. This is fucking great. I just hope the audience will have half the fun I'm having.

What's also making me keep on top of my game: the actor who has my role in the other cast, Scott Alexander, is so damn good. He's coming in with new piss-your-pants funny characterizations almost every day, one of which I'm outright cribbing from him for my performance. We're completely different physical and comic types, and it's great to see what we each bring to the table. Same thing applies to the other four roles / eight actors. Uniformly, they're all awesome.

Dude, you're getting a probation officer! Can somebody now please dig up some dirt on the Verizon spokesdork?

Birthday number 31 was a memorable one. I knew that staying in Half Moon Bay would be cool, but I had no idea. Highly recommended if you want to get just far enough away from S.F. We were doubly blessed with this unseasonably beautiful weather. It was a quiet evening with Italian dinner up the road from the hotel, then lounging by the in-room fireplace. If we stay here again, we'll check out the pool/hot tub, which Gina tells me is only steps away from the beach.

Monday night was an abbreviated preview of Tomfoolery meant for the press, but was mainly attended by some friends and family. It was, er, not all that tight, my performance included. I figure if we're gonna eat it like that in performance, make it a sparsely-attended preview. But we all hung out and enjoyed the spread that Jon and Barbara (the show's producer and Jon's fiancée) provided post-show, and I got to have a pleasant conversation with our choreographer's mother, who was an actress at San Diego's Old Globe Theatre. Last night was about 3½ hours of near non-stop dancing at rehearsal, and I am feeling it today. I'm gonna pop a couple of Advil after posting, then maybe indulge in another hot tub soak tonight.

Or maybe I should spend that hot tub time looking for an audition monologue. I got picked by lottery for a spot in Theatre Bay Area's annual general auditions on the first weekend in March. I have 2 minutes maximum to make an impression on up to 100 casting directors from all over Northern California. I'm exhilarated to have this kind of momentum with my theatre work after such a long artistic hibernation, and terrified that now I actually have to get up and do this. It's a strange thing, to find the right balance of thorough preparation and Zen attitude in performance, to trust that you know what you've memorized will flow effortlessly in the end. Gina's told me, "Fake it till you make it." Funny, but true. Act like you've been there before, like you belong there, even if you feel like a fraud or you're in over your head.

Dinner with the family last night was fantastic, which seems to be par for the course at Lark Creek Inn. They got me a beautiful ring and some hilarious Elvis kitsch, including a guide to impersonating The King.

Today was spent in hyperdrive - song and dance sandwiched between long exercises of avoiding idiots and fuckwits on the streets of San Francisco. I swear, this was Moron Sunday, and it bugged me more than usual. There was a moment of clarity when I realized: this is what my dad felt like when he had to drive to work every day of the week. Getting his dander sharpened to a stiletto-sharp shiv of road rage, and occasionally thrusting it onto another driver. Those moments may be what I remember most vividly about him from my early youth. I've sworn to myself that I'd never get so worked up about stupid insignificant stuff like bad drivers as he did, shit that helped contribute to his 3 heart attacks by age 52. And I could just feel the aggravation build up in me today. Exhale.