function jobmail() {
window.open("http://www.kipilman.com/mail.html","jobbox","width=400,height=400")
}

// RANDOM SLOGAN STRINGS

var slogan1 = "Contemplating microwave bacon as metaphor for chaos theory since this morning";

var slogan2 = "Co-opting John Lydon lyrics while hardly listening to PiL since December 2000";

var slogan3 = "Indulging solipsistic tendencies in an exhibitionistic fashion since December 2000";

var slogan4 = "A weblog - wait, a web journal - oh screw it, one long incoherent rant";

var slogan5 = "Exhibiting symptoms of no life since December 2000";

var slogan6 = "Posting once every blue freaking moon since December 2000";

var slogan7 = "Experiencing inertia since December 2000";

var slogan8 = "Entertaining all three visitors and 95 bots since December 2000";

var slogan9 = "Final score from Lou Bowl 2004:<br>age 32, aspirations 0";

var slogan10 = "Better living through selective divulgence since December 2000";

var slogan11 = "If you're looking for a Brazilian bikini wax, you came to the wrong damn place";

var slogan12 = "Yes, Terilyn Joe got fired, but her hair lives on";

var sloganNum = Math.round(Math.random() * 11) + 1;

if (document.referrer.indexOf("brazil") != -1 || document.referrer.indexOf("bikini") != -1 || document.referrer.indexOf("wax") != -1) {
    sloganNum = 11;
}

if (document.referrer.indexOf("terilyn") != -1 || document.referrer.indexOf("joe") != -1 || document.referrer.indexOf("Terilyn") != -1) {
    sloganNum = 12;
}